I thought today's (Tues) topic over decisions in marriage was fantastic. I have never really looked at making decisions from this perspective and after talking and learning about it-I think it's something pretty important to know especially going into a relationship where your're going to be making very important decisions. Atleast for me, that's how it was. I'm just so happy I'm taking this class right at this time because it seems so revelant in my life, and the things we learn are actually things that are preparing me for my future-no matter what I end up doing. I can see the bases of influence all over my life with different people. I don't know about you, but in my life the people who tend to use legitimate, coercive, and expert influence are the males. I think this might go back to the gender roles. Like we talked about, guys seem to be more problem solvers and like to take control. Girls tend to be the ones who will give up something out of love or respect, or who like to compromise and use the reward influence. This isn't a bad thing and it is not the same for everyone, but this is what I see in my life and experiences.
Another thing I found interesting was the difference between assertiveness and aggressivness. This opened my eyes because I have always thought of myself as someone who is assertive and doesn't let people walk all over them or use them. I stand up for myself and won't back down if it's something I feel strongly about. What I realized was sometimes I might be agressive in doing this. Some of the things he mentioned about saying "end of story," or "that's just how it is going to be no questions asked" are things I could picture myself saying in a situtation I felt strongly about. Now, you wouldn't catch me throwing something out of anger or physically hurting someone so I think this 'agressive' concept is hard to grasp. He says it all goes back to wanting to be in control of the situation, but I think that's kind of human nature-to want things your way. I don't know...any other thoughts?
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I agree with you that these influences are very relevant in life. I have never notice these until the lecture either. Although the stuff I experience are not as similar as you but your perspective made me think a lot about mine. The people who use legitimate, coercive, and expert influence in my life are either both or usually female. I guess it’s because I know or may have more interaction with female than male. But I agree that gender role may have influence over it. I really see myself in your perspective about girl. I’m not a fast thinker so I couldn’t even try to take control of situation and I guess it have a relation to myself as a passive person. However I didn’t realize that trait of mine didn’t really fit with assertive or aggressive. I do stand up for myself if I feel strongly about something too but I’m usually the one doesn’t end up with being in control. So I’m really confuse of what my situation is because I do want thing my way too. But it’s just something that we could never really have much control over if it had to with everyday life. Life is so unpredictable.
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