My personal etiology experience

What I would like to reflect on today is actually something we covered the very first day of class. Dr. Hollist/Cody (I don't know what he would prefer to be called) introduced two terms to us: epistemology and etiology. As soon as I heard the definition of etiology, which basically means "how things develop" or "where things come from," I automatically thought of everything that's been going on physically/medically with my mom because we had recently discussed that exact question - how did this all start? My mom had some scar tissue removed on her hand and it came back as this huge, hard bump on her hand that was definitly not a beauty mark. So, she had it removed again and the doctor gave her something to take while it started to heal, well, that caused a bacterial infection and made her feel like crap and eventually led her to getting a CAT scan and seeing a gastroenterologist to have all kinds of tests done (an endoscopy, a colonoscopy and an endoscopic ultrasound). After finding a pre-cancerous cyst on her pancreas she ended up having to have surgery to get 40% of her pancreas removed as well as her spleen. And then there have been all kinds of little repercussions slowing the healing process since then, including a trip to the ER for horrendous nausea and vomiting, but she is finally about 60-70% back to normal and things are finally healing and recovering well, the way that they're supposed to. So, in conclusion, where did this all start? With the removal of some scar tissue on my mom's hand. But we are thankful that the drugs she was given for that did cause negative repercussions because it helped us find out what was really wrong, before it turned into something malignant - which would have been pancreatic cancer. Thank goodness the cyst was benign! And that is my experience with etiology:)

"Time Together"

After the lecture and discussion in class about strong families, I realized reflection is a key component in any family. I wondered though, how many families stop and reflect? Then I realized that most of the time spent reflecting is when a family member passes away. I know that the lecture was about immediate families so I guess I'm looking through my mom's perspective when she was raised. My mom is one of 4 siblings, she is in the middle of them somewhere, and was raised by both of her parents. My grandpa passed when I was really young, so my only memories of him were jumping over him while he layed on the floor after a big meal. Growing up my mom never talked about her side of the family much and when we would have to go to Exeter to visit my grandma and uncles for holidays, it was always a drag. My grandma passed away last week, and it really made me stop and reflect. I thought about all those times I didn't want to go see her and all the times I complained, never to her face, but to my mom. I guess regret is the key word I'm looking for. Anyway, my mom's side is very reserved, conservative, small-town, and quiet. For example, my uncle Frank lives on the farm he was born on and has never been married, just lives by himself in the middle of the country. I think what I'm getting at is that my mom's side of the family never spend quality "time together" as we discussed in class. I found out a couple years ago that my grandpa went to the only bar in town every night, while my grandma never drank a drop in her life. My grandma played the piano in church every Sunday for 65 years, while my grandpa only went to church on holidays. Later on I found out my grandma married my grandpa when she was 28 years old. Back then that was really old to get married. It almost seems like my grandpa was last resort and so they got married. I don't think growing up, my mom every had that quality time together with her parents. Everyone kept mostly to themselves, just as they do now.

Strong Families

As I was in class and listening to the qualities of strong families it really got me thinking about my own family. I have an extremely strong family. My parents are still extremely close and have been married for over 30 years. I call home at least once a day if not ten I think. I am one of 8 children and I have a strong relationship with all of them I even live with my older sister part of the time. I go home every other weekend and every holiday and would never change a thing about my family! But I can't help but think that my family has been through so much and that's what makes us so strong. My four younger siblings are adopted and all have their own special needs and like any family we have gone through a lot. I also think that my family has grown strong because of my parents. My parents both grew up in homes that were far from strong. I have grown up only really knowing my mother's side of the family, my father's side no longer speaks to my dad and us children included. My mother's family has been battling alcoholism and my grandparents do not have a strong relationship which affected all of their children and their relationships with one another. I am so happy for my family and how strong we have become. I think that it means so much to have a strong family to me because I know what it is like to not have one.

About A Boy

This is kind of an akaward place to start but I'm just going to jump right in and hopefully get some feedback. I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 years(hear me out I know this will sound highschool-ish at first). When we first started dating everything was perfect and about ten months in we started talking about our future. We confessed that we felt strongly about being together and that someday even marriage and kids would be in store for us. This was around the time when he confessed to me that he didn't really have a childhood growing up because his father was a 'worthless' father and his mother was a drug addict. He told me he always has had to take care of little sister and the house, sometimes even the bills. His dad used to beat him and his mother was in jail several times, leaving the family in immense debt. Every word out of his mouth was heartbreaking and I couldn't fathom how such a screwed up childhood could make such a responsible young man. About 4 months later he completely changed.Ever since he left his father and sister to come to college he has been different. His temper has become outrageous, he is very quick to anger, and he has become irregularly controlling. I know college is a big step and change in life but I can't help but think it has something to do with his family. I believe it finally caught up to him after all these years and he is taking it out on himself and even me sometimes. Just a year ago he was happy and responsible and had his whole life planned out the way he had dreamed and now he's rebelling against it all. I would really appreciate some feedback not necessarily about our relationship but how to help him and what you think is going on here. Thanks.

Sean's blog #2

Well I saved a previous blog that I wrote but I'm not sure how I retreive it to publish it? I don't know so anyway, to make a long blog short, todays' class made me really sad. I come from a very strong family (or so I thought), but I have let myself fall astray (at least I think that it is my fault?). I haven't talked to any family members about anything substantial for a long time, and there is so much to discuss. Where do I start?

Sean's Blog #1

I have a relationship in my life that came to mind as Dr. Hollist spoke about Attachment Theory on Tuesday. This person had a twin sister and a brother and another older sister. As they were growing up, the brother sexually assaulted his twin sisters, one of which became pregnant. Being from a small community her parents just had the impregnated twin get an abortion. Nothing was said to anyone. No counseling, no legal ramifications. After all they were a well respected family in their community.

While the twins grew into beautiful women, the raped child lead a life of drugged rebellon engaging in by leading a party style life. The other twin married and had 3 beautiful children which she raised with a husband to be (so far as we know) healthy in both emotionally and physically.

Soon the twin that was leading a fairly radical insane life was diagnosed with cancer and died. The other twin (who had been leading such the opposite life style than her sister), soon started having affairs which eventually lead to the divorce of her first husband and the affair ended as well.

Over time this twin still living reconciled with her husband and they decided to get remarried, maybe for the children's sake? Soon after being a at home housemother all her kids were grown. She took on a job with a small company, that had few employees. She immediately attached herself to one of the men and started an affair with him. This really made her husband mad! He divorced her again.

This latest man was a shy 52 year old virgin, which she liked. The affair would last 7 years, until she changed jobs and met a new man that would satisfy her sense of self esteem, but not her emotional or other needs.

He was also 52 years old and held a top position with a public institution that paid him well. He also going through a divorce and he was a player, going from woman to woman. The surviving twin was one of his women, she instantly feel in love. She went home to tell her parents and when she returned she found him with another woman.

I think that there are some attachment issues in this blog. Is it the fact that she was raped by a brother? Is it that she was a twin being raped? Was it the fact that her sister got pregnant and aborted a fetus? Maybe it was a guilt that her sister died after leading such a rebellious life? Was the sister the way she was because she was raped? Has this left this woman wanting to hurt the men in her life emotionally? There are so many questions I would love to hear some responses. Thanks, Sean