On Tuesday when we were talking about the single life, specifically the section on self, it really struck a chord with me when it was said that "it's much easier to improve our self-concept when we're single." I already knew this, but it just gave me the extra boost I need right now because that's what I'm trying to do in my own life right now. I already have a pretty positive self-concept but there's always things one can improve on. Little things that make a make a good person great. Like right now I'm trying to work on developing a deeper spiritual life because life in general, but especially my spiritual life, has been a roller coaster in college. I always stay close to my faith and always stick to my morals, values and beliefs but I want to be more active in applying these things to my life. A friend of mine was the one who told me of the roller coaster analogy and the biggest part of it is that "when you're at the bottom you have to remember how it feels at the top and when you're at the top you have to remember how it feels at the bottom." This has definitly helped me perservere in a few situations lately.
After talking about and reflecting on improving one's self-concept, one of the comments at the end of class was about the "cup theory": if both people in a relationship are only half full, then you will spend all of your time trying to fill each other up, but one of you will always be empty!
I think this definitly directly relates to self-concept. It shows that when you are single you NEED to work on bettering yourself so that when you do meet "the one" you are both ready to give your whole selves to the other while still being full yourself. And relationships aren't the only thing the cup theory can apply to. I know from personal experience. Last year I was a Bible study leader and this year I'm not. I would have loved to continue to lead my group of girls in growing in their faith but I figured out that I was pouring myself into these young women and trying to help them grow in, deepen and strengthen their faith and get excited about it, so much that I wasn't spending enough time continually filling myself so that I could pour out to the girls in my study. I was channeling out all that I had so much that my personal basin was running dry.
This class is teaching me so much about the basic things and structures in my life and I am really enjoying it because of that fact:)
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I have never heard the rollercoaster analogy said like that before, and I really think that that is a good way to think about it. "When you're at the bottom you have to remember how it feels at the top and when you're at the top you have to remember how it feels at the bottom." It is a good and realistic outlook to have, to remember when you're at the top, to appreciate it because you remember what it was like to be at the bottom, and when you're at the bottom, to remember what it took to get to the top and how good it felt, an use it as motivation.
Then to comment on the cup theory that was mentioned in class, that one really made me think as well. "If both people in a relationship are only half full, then you will spend all of your time trying to fill each other up, but one of you will always be empty!" That one just really made me think. In my past relationships, my self esteem wasnt always the greatest, and I felt like I needed that other person to make me feel better about myself, make me feel "whole." And those insecurities always started arguements or made me feel like I couldn't trust him. But since then, I've dated on and off and spent some time just being single, and those experiences made me grow and learn to appreciate ME more, and learn to love MYSELF more. Since then, I've started a new relationship and I feel like we both are comfortable with ourselves, and enjoy our time together but we dont NEED each other to "fill each other up" per say. And so far it has gone pretty well.
I never thought that this class would really be able to affect me directly but it really has and the further we get into the class the more and more interested I am becoming. I am really interested in learning about the relationships and such.. So I'll be interested to learn more about it.
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